LOS ANGELES--You couldn't ask for a better Opening Day set up. Two of baseball's oldest and most storied teams? Done. Playing in sunny California? Check. Could you make the weather nice? For you, anything. How about two young pitchers at the top of their game, maybe Tim "The Hair" Lincecum versus Clayton "Boy Wonderbeard" Kershaw? Done and done. Defending World Series Champions against their oldest and lip-snarliest rivals? Check. Could you even cast Everyone's Hero Don Mattingly on his first day as a Big League Manager against the wizened Bruce Bochy? Already taken care of.
Really, the only thing missing tonight was, well, the game.
Oh, don't get me wrong: balls were batted, balls were caught, balls were thrown--not necessarily in that order. When there was fine pitching, there was no hitting; when there was decent hitting, there was bad base running. And let's just face it, there was ham-handed defense almost everywhere.
At the plate, the Artful Dodgers mounted several paltry, nearly pathetic offensives against the Giants' fielders, who were all too willing to bop, bobble, and drop the ball for effect. In the Big First Inning, two bloopy singles by Ethier and Kemp left runners at the corners, but all came to naught when Loney grounded to second. Next inning Uribe dared to dream that his single could grow up someday to be a double, but it was instead cut down in the flower of its youth when he slid--too enthusiastically, perhaps?--past the bag and Tejada happened to notice. Wait, says Uribe, Didn't you use to play on the other side of the bay? You're out, says Miguel, And here's the ball on your shoulder to prove it. (Hmm, says Uribe.)
In the Thirsty Third, Gwynn did what Uribe couldn't, and stood on second, thanks in part to Burrell's cement glove out there in left. But he, too, lingered and died a lonely death stranded out there on 2B.
Meanwhile, Kershaw effectively shut down the World Winners at their turns to bat. They only made two hits in the first five innings, at the price of nine of their number cut down by strikes on the night. Kershaw's line, worth repeating: 7 IP, 9 K, 1 BB, 4 H, 0 R. What's more, he wore it well, confidently, so you almost forgot to notice when he got in a jam because he got right back out of it again.
Finally, in the Silly Sixth, the Giants handed the Dodgers two errors to rub together and see if they could make a run. Kemp, aboard with a walk, got moved around more by Tejada's bad DP try than by Loney's bunt, and found himself on third. Near third, to be exact, dilly-dallying, which is where third baseman Big Sandoval and the Giants' rookie catcher had a (wait for it) moment between pitches, thought they could catch Kemp looking at airplanes. Too bad Posey's throw escaped his thirdster, and while they were out chasing it down Kemp literally walked backwards across the plate to put one on the board for the home team. The run was unearned and looked that way, and even with a walk by Carroll, and even with Uribe hit on the elbow by an up-and-in fastball from The Hair, the Bums still couldn't drag another one across the dish.
Their second score, in the 8th, was somewhat fairer of cheek--the first time is always the hardest, I suppose. Kemp walked again, but this time he stole himself over to second right under the new Giants' pitcher Casilla's high leg kick. Then Loney hit a real pretty double, he measured the exact distance to the right field wall and put it neat into the corner, a beatiful tall double into the LA sunset. Okay, there's some baseball.
That made 2 for the good guys. Top of the ninth, last chance for the visitors. Burrell hit a sharp homer to left (for the kids!), but that was all they could muster, and the old Trolley Dodgers won it 2-1 this first go round.
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